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We received the following item via e-mail.  We have taken the liberty of doing a little reformatting.  We do not know who the author is, but wish to express appreciation to them for this item.

Main menu items:

  • Porterhouse Rockwell Steak
  • Primary Rib, and 
  • Poor Wayfaring Pan of Beef, garnished with Parsley P. Pratt. 

We'll also have, when it's in season, Eliza R. Snow Crab.  There will be a whole line of "And It Came To Pasta," including Kraft Moroni & Cheese.

Breakfast items include:

  • Pearl of Puffed Rice, 
  • Frosted Minivans, and 
  • Adam-ondi-Omelettes.

"In Our Lovely Desserts" we feature:

  • Fast Sundaes, 
  • Gadianton Cobblers and 
  • the sinful Laman Meringue Pie.

This is a sparkling new idea for a chain of non-pretentious Utah restaurants.  

The name of these restaurants: The Steak Center (Where there's never a dry, boring meat-ing!)  Each Steak Center will have one enormous dining area with basketball hoops at either end, folding metal chairs, and long tables covered in plastic tablecloths.  The waiters will be 12 and 13 year-old boys wearing white shirts and their father's ties.  At the end of the evening, the customers will be asked to help fold up the chairs and tables and vacuum the floor.

[Franchises are reportedly selling fast...]