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JOKES
A Mormon joke
Two Mormon Missionaries
Christian Scholars
The Trinity
Mormon Chain Letter
A Mormon guy in line to get lunch leans over to the guy next to him and
says, "Wanna hear a Mormon joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should
know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am an anti-Mormon.
The guy sitting next to me is 6'2 tall, weighs 225, and he's an anti-Mormon.
The fella next to him is 6'5 tall, weighs 250, and he's an anti-Mormon.
Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"
The first guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it 3 times." |
| Two Mormon
missionaries are walking down the street one sunny morning. Coming
from the opposite direction is a Priest. As they meet the Priest says, "Good morning, Sons of the Devil."
The Mormon missionaries reply, "Good morning Father." |
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Christian
Scholars
by D. Charles Pyle
Q.) How many Orthodox
Historic Christian
Scholars does it take to change a light bulb?
A.) First, they must hold a council to decide whether the
light bulb should be soft white or cool white.
Then, they must hold another council to determine whether they should accept fluorescent
or incandescent lighting.
Following their acceptance of incandescent over fluorescent lighting and soft white over
cool white, several other councils of hundreds of clergymen over a period of hundreds of
years must decide whether there is to be but one filament contained in one light bulb, or
whether there are to be three filaments in the one bulb.
Additional centuries must pass before several groups of clergymen protest the use of soft
white incandescent bulbs and begin bickering over whether to convert to fluorescent
lighting or return to cool white incandescent bulbs.
Finally, Mormons come along and install a new light bulb patterned after the original bulb
and turn on the light.
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The Trinity
Jesus said, Whom do men say that I am?
And his disciples answered and said, Some say you are John the Baptist returned from the dead; others say Elias,
or other of the old prophets.
And Jesus answered and said, But whom do you say that I am?
Peter answered and said, "Thou art the Logos, existing in the Father as His
rationality and then, by an act of His will, being generated, in consideration of the various functions by which
God is related to his creation, but only on the fact that Scripture speaks of a Father, and a Son, and a Holy Spirit,
each member of the Trinity being coequal with every other member, and each acting inseparably with and
interpenetrating every other member, with only an economic subordination within God, but causing no division
which would make the substance no longer simple."
And Jesus answering, said, "What?" |
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**Mormon Chain Letter **(*)
This chain letter is meant to bring greater happiness to you and
your ward.
Unlike any other chain letter you may have received, this one does not cost money. It will lighten your load.
You simply send a copy of this letter to six other church members in various other stakes that are unhappy with their bishop. Then you
bundle up your bishop and send him to the ward at the bottom of the list.
In one week you will receive 16,536 bishops. One of them should be a
dandy and just what you've always wanted. You must exercise faith in this
letter and be sure that you do not break the chain. One good brother did
and got his old bishop back.
Another poor soul broke the chain and was called to be a bishop
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Be careful what you wish for!
Important
Note for the humor impaired:
This is not:
1) an anti-Mormon joke
2) a joke about anti-Mormons |
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